OK not really. But they should.

Last night over dinner a friend (who is on the marketing side at CAA so he’s moderately qualified) suggested Yahoo! combat “Google” as a verb (you know, when someone says, “I Googled Nicole Ritchie last night”) and go with a “Yahoo! That Bitch!” campaign. Some examples:
YOU: I missed the Olympics last night. Did that dude from Texas win the super long speed skating race?
ME: I dunno, why don’t you Yahoo! that bitch?!
YOU: Who played piano in Peanuts? Linus? Schroeder?
ME: I think it was Schroeder, but why don’t you just Yahoo! that bitch , fool?
You get the picture: don’t “Google” it, “Yahoo! that bitch!” Way cooler. Way more fun. And everyone knows that Yahoo! Search and Google Search relevancy are basically the same.
It would be hard to get people to just replace “Google” with “Yahoo!” (s/Google/Yahoo\!/g) — Google has more cool these days. But adding the “that bitch” gives it a nice, hard, slang-leaning edge which is way cooler than just “Googling” something. Brilliant. So lets get started. It’s as easy as these two steps:
1) Uninstall Google Toolbar
2) Install Yahoo! Toolbar, which should set all your default searches (including your embedded Firefox search) to Yahoo! Search
Go on, make a dent in the Microsoft of Internet search — Yahoo! that bitch!

UPDATE: Even though we all know that “bitch” hasn’t been gender-specific since at least 1993, I’ve received some push-back on the above campaign from folks who like their slang politically correct. Since I certainly don’t mean to offend based on gender, race, creed, or religious affiliation (unless by the last two you’re in the band, Creed), I’m suggesting the following modifications to the above “Yahoo! as verb” campaign:

Yahoo! That Shit!
Yahoo! That Ish!

ian